Poetry Blog

I am starting a poetry blog for pro-anas who write, or are interested in poetry. you can find it at www.skinnie4evur-poetry.blogspot.com or click HERE if you want to read the poems i have posted so far. I have so many that I want to post NOW! but I decided that It would be best to stagger them. Its seriously killing me though! Posting these poems definitely started an up swing in my mood. I've felt happy and just over all less depressed since I started this new blog. Let me know what you all think. I really would love some feedback. I have several poems that are of particular forms that I will explain the forms of, and if you are new at poetry, or would just like to try your hand at a new style, feel free to write a poem in the form and send it in! I really want to post the poetry from other writers, as it would allow us to build a sort of pro-ana art network. I know compiling poems for a por-ana thinspo journal or pin board really helps me, and so I want to turn around and give you all some good material for your own. <3  I'll update you when i figure out more details. If you want to subscribe to the poetry blog, I plan to post a new poem every day. I've written some REALLY good poems in the past few days that I am itching to post! I feel like I'm going to explode! I love you all to death! <3

Post Surgery

I had surgery a few weeks ago to have my gall bladder removed. There's our starting point. Now we're rewinding to the beginning of this January. January was when I realized that there was no way I could pretend to be normal any more. I was miserable trying to "eat healthy" and bla bla bla, so I went back to my disordered ways. I started the ABC diet, and lost over 30 lbs while I was on it! that was one of the happiest times in my life, let me tell you. At least, the weight loss part. I was also having major boyfriend drama, which ended with me breaking up with him. But, that is another story for a different time. Almost right after I finished the ABC diet, my doctors finally figured out why I've been sick since 2nd grade. I had a chronic gall bladder disease and I needed surgery almost immediately. They force-fed me until I gained enough weight to operate. They continued the force-feeding until a few days ago. They literally undid all my progress from ABC. Once they stopped watching me so closely, I started adding Fat Burner Blasts from Planet Smoothie into my green tea, and slipping appetite suppressants and metabolic boosting vitamins in with my medications. Its slow progress, but I can tell a difference. because of surgery, I can't be too active or I'll re-open my incisions and that would be painful. right now the most I can do is walking and yoga, but I am doing both as much as I can fit in. Lucky for me, my doctor ordered me to start taking Benefiber and probiotic pills, so I can eat more protein-rich foods and skip eating the foods that have fiber in them, and save myself the calories. I am thinking about doing a cleanse to get all this fat out of my system and then trying to break my fasting record which is a pathetic 4 days. Wish me luck. My motivation level is way down, and because of various reasons, I'm totally depressed. I already had to eat this morning, but I start fasting tomorrow, cleanse hopefully today. I can do this. Maybe once I do, I'll feel in control of my life again.