Aerie's Drew

So, If you have signed up for an AE All Access Pass or an AE Aerie All Access Pass, American Eagle sends you Aerie and AE mini-catalouges  thst have new things for the season, clearances, coupons, etc. Those are great for thinspo! you can pul the coupons out, and then cut up the pictures for your thinspo journal! They make great thinspo because they have skinny models, great colors, you don't have to print them and use your own paper and ink, and most people would just recycle it anyway once they take out the coupons. I just did that with Aerie's new winter collection mini. They've really been advertising their new bra, Drew, and the girl who models Drew, Cintia Dicker, is SO SKINNY! I have a picture of her on every page I've worked on recently. She is so thinspirational. Even though you know they probably airbrushed over some of her bones to make them not as obvious ,you can tell she's skinny enough for them to be showing. She's TINY! Seriously. I'm dying to get the next mail-out!

By the way, Victoria's Secret Pink mini-catalouges are extremely thinspirational too! I just haven't gotten one recently.

I want to post pictures of my thinspo journal soon... Once I have more in it. I'm wanting to write down a bunch of ana quotes so there are huge gaps on the paper that I need to fill.

Here is Cintia:

Dear PrettyThin Haters,

Those of you who criticize James for being a 30 year old man running a website for those with eating disorders and as being sick are being horridly judgmental and sadly misinformed. He has been accused of self-esteem issues or trying to force his image of beauty onto young girls, but no one is making girls go to his website. There aren't really even any "tips" on PrettyThin. In fact, the Site wasn't even created by him. It was created by a friend of his who turned the site over to him when she went into recovery. Since then, he has turned it from the pro-ED site it used to be to the pro-individual site for those who suffer from an ED where they won't be judged or criticized for the illness they have.

For those of you who think that all girls with eating disorders are just stupid girls trying to conform to society's image of beauty: Most of us are just trying to embrace ourselves. We are trying to get our body to the point where we are happy with ourselves. Why aren't you criticizing celebrities for getting boob-jobs or rhinoplasty? Why aren't you telling them that they are trying to damage their "god-given" bodies? I would certainly think telling girls that they need to have big boobs, consequentially turning those vulnerable 11 year old girls into sex objects is just as bad, if not worse. Unless you are going to rant so viciously those who are overweight and damaging their bodies in that manor, you are being hypocritical. You can embrace your curves, and we'll embrace our bones. Thank you.

To those who simply assign pejorative labels, calling a girl "sick" or "fucking disgusting" because she has an eating disorder is no way to get her to recover if that is truly what you are seeking to do. It is my suspicion that many people who go into angry rants about eating disorders are simply venting some sort of bitterness that they have towards thin people. most people who said things like this admitted that they were overweight. This sounds like jealousy to me since they had nothing better than circular argumentation to back up their claims. But since eating disorders are each a mental disease, that can be contracted or caught, people cannot usually help the fact that they will develop an eating disorder. studies have proven that there are genetic codes that are more susceptible to contracting an eating disorder with the wrong combination of stimuli. EDs are mental illnesses just like bipolar disorder or anxiety disorder are mental illnesses. Would you call a bipolar person "sick" or "fucking disgusting" because they get depressed or have violent mood swings or suffer from chronic stress? True eating disorders are a mental illness, and can be treated, but are not the fault of the person who has the illness. In a sense, they are just as in control of their illness as someone who gets breast cancer. sure there are things that may have prevented it, but the fact that the disease is there is no reason to say such mean things to an individual. Honestly, it will only make them worse.

Food Obsessions

I have fallen in love with 2 foods as of late. They are low in calories, vegan, high in protein and have fiber too. The first is Quinoa. One of the great things about Quinoa (pronounced KEEN-wah) is that it is usually eaten as a grain. So its a more nutritious, lower calorie alternative to one of my previous favorites: rice. It is incredibly filling, and it goes well with pretty much anything. It can be used in recipes from apple granola bars to soups, but it still tastes great plain! (Or with a ton of pepper. Pepper adds flavor with very few calories, and it boosts the metabolism.) The second food is Tofu. Tofu goes well with pretty much anything too. It even tastes good with Quinoa! I usually get the extra firm tofu which works well eaten cubed. It can be used in low-calorie stir-frys, or eaten plain after being cooked. The great thing about tofu, is that it will taste like whatever you cook it in. So if you REALLY wanted to, you could even cook it in soda or something... Whatever floats your boat, I guess? If you get a less-firm tofu, it is really good in smoothies. It can turn a snack smoothie into a meal replacement. Its 80 calories per serving, with 9 grams of protein. Its also lactose-free, so it yogurt is keeping you from enjoying smoothies, switch to soft tofu, with orange juice, add barley grass for fiber and anti-oxidants, and maybe a little bit of frozen fruit, and you will have a great diet meal.

Thinspo Videos

I think I am going to make a Thinspo Video series. I have already made one movie. (See "My Thinspo Videos" on the Sidebar) Its Indie Rock Thinspo. I set it to the song "Skinny Little Wrists" by Tallest Trees from their Album "The Ostrich or the Lark." It had several motivational, inspirational quotes along with the thinspoirational pictures and the music. It only took my 4 hours so It's not GREAT, but I like it a lot.

Making such videos takes time to make them look good, so I think its a great way to keep yourself distracted from eating. Its even better than replying to EVERY thread on a Pro-Ana Forum... which, by the way I have done. Anyway, I may be making more videos in the future, so I will update when I am making another one. Whether ir not this will become a series depends on how much time I have for them, and how popular they are. So, please, watch the video and give me your opinion.

Sort of Fasting

I'm currently fasting. . . -ish. I I can't drink coffee black, so I had to add unsweetened almond milk. Its 35 Calories per cup. I used 2 cups which adds up to 70 Calories. I also took Benefiber tablets, which add another 45 calories (but 9 extra grams of fiber to help remove fat from your system.) That's all the calories I am going to have though. I also took some metabolism-boosting, appetite-suppressing, vitamin supplements.

I have also decided that I am going to take my sister's dog on a walk every day! We have a track in my neighborhood, and today, I took her out walking for a little over 2 miles. Problem is, the dog got all thirsty halfway through the walk, and the poor thing wanted to lay down. So I finished off a bottle of white tea and used it to pour water from the park fountain into a pop-up dog dish that I had in my bag. Next time I think I will bring an extra bottle of water in case we're not right next to a water fountain when she gets thirsty.

But anyway... I have found that dog-walking is an EXCELLENT way to get in extra exercise even when people are suspicious that you exercise too much because you can say walking the DOG. so the DOG gets exercise. That makes the DOG the focus of the attention. But that is just a bonus.

White tea. Less caffeine than green tea, but more antioxidants. And, when in a colored water bottle, less suspicious. (My school only allows water in classrooms. White tea is barely colored, so I can get away with it easily.)

As an update to the Beauty School, I have been working on the meal plans today. So far, things are looking GREAT. check out what I have so far at www.skinnie4evur.webs.com

Beauty School

I have come across many "Beauty Schools", "Academy of Anas" and the like, and I think they aren't far off. Yes, there is something to be said for the classic diets. But having a network where everyone in the "school" is accountable to everyone else, That might be our best idea yet. I am going to be doing some work on a pro-ana beauty school. I simply need to accumulate participants. After all, you can't have a school without having anyone enrolled. I plan to keep you all posted. You can see what I have gotten ready so far at: www.skinnie4evur.webs.com

A Book of Beauty

I think I am going to start a Thinspo book. I'm not exactly sure what I will be putting in it really, since the color cartridge in my printer is broken. I might could still put a few pictures in it, but its most likely going to be majorly quotes, poems, and... well... wordy things. I collected a lot of pro-ana poetry from pretty thin and other sites while I was working on my "understanding" poetry project for English class last year, and I kept most of them in folders. There were drawings to go with some of the poems, and so that's at least a start. I really have no idea what I am gong to do with this. I'm sort of... drawing a blank. the main thing is to get started though, and things should flow smoothly from there. I just need to get SOMETHING started to keep myself preoccupied as I will be fasting until I can find a buddy to do the ABC Diet with me. I'll update you all on how it's going later. Maybe I'll even post pictures of my thinspo book? Who knows.

French Affair

I have a Product Recommendation! YAY!

As many of you may have noticed for yourself, when restricting, and losing weight, sometimes your nails can turn sort of a blueish tint. Even if you have not experienced this for yourself, You may have noticed many websites and blogs warn of this little quirk of having an ED. But never fear, nail polish is here!

Yes, you can always just paint your ails to hide the blue color, but personally, I find it very helpfully triggering. So I like to only mask it a little, not completely cover it up. How does one manage this? Simple. Try giving yourself a french mani/petti. this lets a little of your original nail color show through the polish. Best color ever? Essie "French Affair" Nail Polish in NICE is Nice Purple. I love this color to the moon and back because since it is purple, you can blame the bit of blueish color left on the purple polish, but you really know its from your ED. Trust me, this makes me feel really powerful. Plus, when you take off the polish, You can blame the bluish color on the color staining your nails, even though Essie nail colors are really good about not staining.

One Problem: The French Affair Collection is being retired soon, so hurry and stock up! You can find Essie nail lacquer at most local drugstores in the cosmetics section, and you can ALWAYS find Essie at Ulta. I love that store. I could live alternating between Ulta and Starbucks, and just set up a tent. Oh yeah.

Find me on Pretty Thin

KJ - PrettyThin

If you want to message me on a ED specific website, like if you need someone to talk to, or if you want to add me, or send me a message of some sort, feel free to do so on the link above. I love you all so much. You are my reason to keep pressing toward perfection.

Watermelon Diet

Since I am currently unable to really focus on counting calories due to medical, and my-family-is-seriously-watching-me-right-now reasons, I have decided to invent, or at least try a new diet. I will be eating only watermelon and drinking green and white tea, coffee, and no calorie drinks like Propel Zero and Vitamin Water Zero which have health benefits, while avoiding even no calorie soda because the carbonation makes one bloat and appear even heavier than one already is.

 Either way, this is going to be an extreme antioxidant-filled diet, because watermelons, already extremely low in calories, have red antioxidants (hence the red color of the majority of melon,) which boost one's metabolism, therefore burning more calories throughout the day, and they have lots of fiber, which is not digestible by humans, consequently adding no calories, but bonding to fat and taking it out of one's system with it. The result is negative calories for you. (Woohoo! Bonus!) Another good reason for this diet is that watermelons are mostly, well, water, which fills you up on less "real" food and, as well as the antioxidants, has boundless benefit to one's skin. I really don't even mind eating slices of it and making a terrible mess and getting watermelon all over my face because its like a mini-facial. My skin never fails to feel significantly softer afterwards! The last benefit I can think of at the current, is that Watermelon is currently in season, and so I won't be spending so much money on buying it. plus, my mom loves it so she buys at least 3 whole melons per week which is plenty enough for me.

The reasons behind my choice of drinks are simple. Green, white, and even herbal teas are chocked full of delicious antioxidants which, once again, in case you missed it, are beneficial to weight loss in the form of metabolic boost, as well as... hmm... I don't think i mentioned this one earlier... killing free-radicals which  cause cancer. This is a major bonus because its summer, aka swimsuit season, aka tanning season, aka sunburning season, aka causing-skin-cancer-in-the-relatively-near-but-still-rather-distant-future season. Another reason to drink teas are shared with coffee. I drink them warm. Not hot, usually not cold, but definitely warner than room temperature. This aids the illusion that I am full further than just having water in my stomach, because the warmth actually causes one's stomach to expand, which signals your brain to stop eating because it thinks one is stuffing one's self beyond the holding capacity of the stomach, which in my case, means I feel super-full on no food. Now moving past tea, a reason to drink coffee is for the caffeine content. Though I usually cannot drink coffee black and wind up having to add a bit of unsweetened almond milk, (which adds some protein, but barely any calories, 20 for 1/2 cup to be exact,) There are still significant amounts, as we all know, of caffeine in coffee. Other than the obvious wake-up effect of caffeine, there are good reasons for drinking it. It boosts your metabolism. It gives you calorie-free energy. And did you know caffeine can help with bloating? Why yes it can. It causes your body to process water faster, which (being perfectly scientific here, not trying to gross anyone out) makes you go to the bathroom more, which removes excess, universally despised, water-weight. (This is also a good tip after a purge using laxatives, because they can cause your body to hold onto water.)

I hope to be able to escape from eating family dinners by eating watermelon, and tricking my family into believing that I've eaten a lot, but if I can't, I will be sticking with fresh vegetables from our garden, or maybe a boiled egg or veggie burger. All are low cal, high protein and/ or high fiber. Wish me luck!

Poetry Blog

I am starting a poetry blog for pro-anas who write, or are interested in poetry. you can find it at www.skinnie4evur-poetry.blogspot.com or click HERE if you want to read the poems i have posted so far. I have so many that I want to post NOW! but I decided that It would be best to stagger them. Its seriously killing me though! Posting these poems definitely started an up swing in my mood. I've felt happy and just over all less depressed since I started this new blog. Let me know what you all think. I really would love some feedback. I have several poems that are of particular forms that I will explain the forms of, and if you are new at poetry, or would just like to try your hand at a new style, feel free to write a poem in the form and send it in! I really want to post the poetry from other writers, as it would allow us to build a sort of pro-ana art network. I know compiling poems for a por-ana thinspo journal or pin board really helps me, and so I want to turn around and give you all some good material for your own. <3  I'll update you when i figure out more details. If you want to subscribe to the poetry blog, I plan to post a new poem every day. I've written some REALLY good poems in the past few days that I am itching to post! I feel like I'm going to explode! I love you all to death! <3

Post Surgery

I had surgery a few weeks ago to have my gall bladder removed. There's our starting point. Now we're rewinding to the beginning of this January. January was when I realized that there was no way I could pretend to be normal any more. I was miserable trying to "eat healthy" and bla bla bla, so I went back to my disordered ways. I started the ABC diet, and lost over 30 lbs while I was on it! that was one of the happiest times in my life, let me tell you. At least, the weight loss part. I was also having major boyfriend drama, which ended with me breaking up with him. But, that is another story for a different time. Almost right after I finished the ABC diet, my doctors finally figured out why I've been sick since 2nd grade. I had a chronic gall bladder disease and I needed surgery almost immediately. They force-fed me until I gained enough weight to operate. They continued the force-feeding until a few days ago. They literally undid all my progress from ABC. Once they stopped watching me so closely, I started adding Fat Burner Blasts from Planet Smoothie into my green tea, and slipping appetite suppressants and metabolic boosting vitamins in with my medications. Its slow progress, but I can tell a difference. because of surgery, I can't be too active or I'll re-open my incisions and that would be painful. right now the most I can do is walking and yoga, but I am doing both as much as I can fit in. Lucky for me, my doctor ordered me to start taking Benefiber and probiotic pills, so I can eat more protein-rich foods and skip eating the foods that have fiber in them, and save myself the calories. I am thinking about doing a cleanse to get all this fat out of my system and then trying to break my fasting record which is a pathetic 4 days. Wish me luck. My motivation level is way down, and because of various reasons, I'm totally depressed. I already had to eat this morning, but I start fasting tomorrow, cleanse hopefully today. I can do this. Maybe once I do, I'll feel in control of my life again.